I’m writing this
from our living room couch, while Amelia watches My Little Pony before
bed. The dog is snoozing at my
feet, dishes are in the dishwasher and the laundry is mostly folded. Jeff is across the room, reading. It’s kind of a postcard of suburban
domestic bliss. But maybe I’m supposed to be in Pittsburgh.
Today is the second
day of the Association of Children’s Museums’ annual 3-day conference. I’ve
attended this conference almost every year since 1995. It changes locations
each year, and I’ve been going so long that I remember the last time it was in
Pittsburgh. It’s a professional development and networking event, and since I’m
officially a freelancer again, networking is key. It’s also an annual gathering
of old friends and colleagues, an opportunity to stay up too late in the hotel
bar talking about exhibits with a bunch of people who love them the way I do, without
spouses checking their watches. Last year at this conference, I was at a career
turning point and the solid advice, unwaivering support and valuable
perspective of my ACM friends gave me the confidence to make a change I
desperately needed. Last year I was a mess, and this year I’m better. I was
looking forward to going to this year’s conference to say thank you, check in,
and pay it forward.
But last night was New
Parents’ Open House at the school where Amelia will start kindergarten. And my
decision to freelance full time was all about priorities.
A few months ago, I
saw a job posting that sounded great. I inquired about it, and it sounded even
more interesting. I was definitely qualified, and strongly encouraged to apply.
But I kept hesitating. Finally, my husband ran out of patience. Look, he said,
I can’t keep having this debate. I will support you either way, but do you or
don’t you want to meet the school bus?
Wow. That’s easy. I
do want to meet the school bus. It’s what I’ve always wanted. But I also love
my career and we sure do spend my paycheck. So I looked around. I have two interesting,
challenging, rewarding freelance projects that will keep me busy through the
summer. I have two more pending for the fall. There’s no reason to think there won’t be more after that.
So at least for now, freelance work is a viable option with a lot of perks. Not
only can I have the joy of meeting the school bus, but the fact that Amelia is
ON a bus at 3pm means she doesn’t have to go to after school care. If I can
earn a living and also avoid 11-hour days for my 5-year-old, well, any other
option just seems selfish.
Have I found the
elusive work-life balance that mothers everywhere dream of? If so, it’s still
not perfect. There are choices and tradeoffs, because doing both means you can’t give
everything to either one. Working for myself means the time management
decisions are mine, and there isn’t time “reserved” by an employer. I can watch ballet class, but I will be up very late writing. If I go to parents’ night, I’m also deciding not to go to the ACM conference.
But here’s the
thing – there will be another conference next year. In fact, missing a year is
a great incentive to call some of my ACM friends and catch up one-on-one in the
coming weeks. Those relationships are intact, and networking can still
happen. But Amelia won’t be
starting a new school next year, and I’ll never have a rising kindergartener
again. I’ve missed enough milestones already, and now that time management is
up to me, I've chosen to meet the school bus.
So I think you can
have it all, you just can’t have all of it. Tonight, I see from the photos on Facebook that I’m
missing a great time in Pittsburgh. But this year I belong here, on this couch,
with my family. I’ll see you next
year, I promise!
Want more Mess? Check out A Crafty Mess over at Charlotte Parent, or visit my Etsy store, Made by Mommy.
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